The one I really needed – Boulder Sunset Triathlon (#12)

BoulderSunsetTriMontage

I was looking through old pictures on Facebook and realized I never blogged about this race.

This race was important to me because it was the only triathlon I was able to do in all of 2013. Tri season usually starts in May but I had spent most of the few months before planning for an epic vacation to Peru. I was in desperate need of a break and wanted one that would take me off the grid, far far away from startup land, and one that would re-inspire my sense of awe and wonder. The week before I left, I also did the Alcatraz swim (from Alcatraz island to the Presidio), which was AMAZING and epic but draining in its own way – quick weekend in San Fran to visit my brother, swim, and fly back. The next weekend I left for Peru.

The trip was magnificent (details in another post!) but came with one unplanned aspect – I got very sick. Most of the two-week trip was spent trekking through the Andes mountains, 8 hours a day, and camping at night in freezing temperatures. I got sick the day before we left but figured it was just something I ate and I could fight it off. But I was sick the entire trek. By the time we got back to Cusco, I ended up in the hospital. What was supposed to be a rejuvenating, soul-searching vision-quest became one of the worst vacations of my life (and also one of the best but I didn’t realize that until about a year later).

I got back to Boulder in need of another vacation, but I’d just taken two weeks off the grid (almost) so the only thing to do was suck it up and plow forward. I came back to a mountain of work for a number of reasons and worked every weekend for the rest of the summer into Fall. I still look back on that year and wonder why I don’t remember having a summer. I spent part of it in subzero temperatures in a tent and the rest of it holed up behind my computer. It was not much of a life. I spent the next six months feeling exhausted, overworked, stressed, and neglected.

I have lots of things that make me happy in my life and I consider myself lucky that I even have some sense of what brings me joy. Running races is close to the top. Its hard to explain. At a basic level, I love moving my body. I love everything that comes with hard exercise – the sweat, the grit, the badass way I feel each time I say f***-you to pain. I like breathing hard, having muscles, beating the heat/cold/wind/hill or whatever nature wants to throw my way.  So to not feel like doing anything physical for months was a weird feeling. I was a big, fat NO to everything – I said no to movies, hikes, happy hours, dinners, dancing, and even walks. I was a no-show for everything that wasn’t work.

As September approached, I realized my tri days were numbered for the year. How could I go the entire year without one race? So I signed up for the Boulder Sunset Tri – a gorgeous race at the Boulder Reservoir that bookends the summer. Yes! I can still do this! I am still in control of my journey and circumstances will not get the best of me. Though the entire race felt like I was slogging through quicksand, I was back in the game. I felt alive and relieved that the universe wasn’t somehow punishing me. Funny how the more you want something, the more the universe will test your commitment to having it.

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Enemies, secrets and diabolical weapons: Growing up with the Cold War

For some reason, I’ve spent a chunk of this July 4th weekend lost in memories of my early childhood and teen years. As I sifted through photos, letters, art and stories I wrote as a child, I was taken by how much of it is framed by the threat of war.  I grew up during the Cold War, the free-thinking daughter of staunch republicans. I was raised during the presidencies of Nixon, Ford, Carter and Reagan (I attended Reagan’s inauguration when I was 15). I remember The Space Race, 60 countries boycotting the 1980 Olympic games in Moscow, the fall of the Berlin wall, Watergate, Chernobyl, and Gorbachev (his eerie birthmark scared the crap out of us kids).

The undercurrent of wartime politics and nuclear propaganda was vividly woven into my childhood.  We were very aware that the U.S. and Soviet Union had enough weapons pointed at each other to completely destroy both countries and it was just a matter of time before someone got mad and “pushed a button”. The grown-up seriousness was tempered by watching hours of WWII-era comedies like Hogan’s Hero’s, McHale’s Navy, Black Sheep Squadron, and Operation Petticoat.

HogansHeros2

I was eight years old when I learned that President Nixon was planning to visit Moscow to meet with Leonid Brezhnev and find a solution to the madness. I deeply wanted peace and to end all the constant worry about whether Earth itself would even exist by the time I got to middle school. So I wrote him a letter asking him if I could go with him. I don’t remember what I wrote but I remember being convinced it was all just a big misunderstanding and that surely there was a way to work it out. I thought, “I get along with people pretty well, maybe I can help”.  I got back a letter saying how he was “particularly pleased to hear from boys and girls who take a special interest in our government”. Though it was a template postcard, getting a letter from the White House at 8 was as good as meeting the President himself.

LetterToNixon2

Nixon and I crossed paths again the summer I turned 16. I was working at the Aspen Institute, a policy studies organization based in Washington, DC. They had conference venue near the Wye River in Maryland where I grew up. The institute is a non-partisan venue for leaders to discuss critical global issues like education, economics, health, the environment security and global affairs. The Aspen Institute is chaired by Walter Isaacson (CEO of CNN, editor of TIME, and author of Steve Jobs) with board and trustee members like Madeline Albright, Henry Kissinger, and Sandra Day O’Connor. Former President Nixon spoke the summer I worked there and I asked him if he remembered my letter (of course, he didn’t).

As I flipped through pictures and letters, I came across two short stories I’d written as a teen about what my life would be like in the year 2000. It really brought home how the existential uncertainly of the times framed my view of the world. Political enemies, secrets organizations and diabolical weapons were just part of everyday life (and apparently, so was space travel). Thankfully, it looks like I had a sense of humor about it all, too. (I have not edited anything, spelling or otherwise, on these stories).

“My Future”

In the year 2000, I will be on my deathbed as the result of an assassination attempt. I will reveal pertinent information that will save the world from eminent destruction. Throughout my life, I had received strange, unidentified messages from somewhere inside the Russian Kremlin. Several of the USSR’s top leaders decided to defect, causing the total downfall of all communist organizations. Little did the U.S. know that another group of non-conformists, the Moscrows (named for their home in Moscow) had multiplied by secret underground means and were planning a major attack on the Pentagon, the White House, and the Secret security building that contains all the U.S. thermo-nuclear war strategies. Because of my heroics, the military discovered the planted bombs and I received a ticker-tape parade (even though I was dead by then). My name went down in history, books were written about me, and my life story was made into a movie which won 12 Academy Awards.

And another story:

“My Day in the Year 2000″ Story header

It is the year 2000, and Queen Anne’s County High School has now become the George Orwell University of Nuclear Studies. This school is situated on Saturn. Earth and her moon have demonstrated a nuclear big bang theory and they are nothing but stars. I am a security guard at this university. I arrive at my job at 13:75 in the morning. Because of changes in the atmospheric pressure and the position of Saturn’s rings, we have been forced to alter our system of time. There is a major missile base beneath the school. Because of this, security must be very strictly enforced. My job is to control the rings of the planet as a means of allowing military space vehicles and security personnel to enter and depart. It’s a very safe job because I control them from Jupiter. That way, if Saturn is attacked, I will live.

Apparently, I had grand visions of saving the world. After graduation, I explored joining the Air Force. I wanted to fly planes and be a fighter pilot. I didn’t end up joining (although I did learn to fly) and instead got my degree in Mathematics and Computer Science and went on to sell telecom to the aerospace industry. The world has changed in so many ways since I was a teenager but in some ways not. Many of the things we worried about didn’t end up coming true but I never realized the impact they had on my life until now.

Note: This post is not intended to incite one-sided rants about which political party is right or wrong (those comments will be deleted). It is, however, an invitation to share how the political and global climate of your youth shaped the choices you made into adulthood.

Posted in Leadership, Random Stuff | 3 Comments

Wanna Buy A Z?

WannaBuyAZMy latest project in the “personal growth” department is sleep.  I’ve known for years that sleep is a critical part of our ability to function at a high level, whether its for work or sports but I never really paid much attention to my own on a daily basis.  My work is mentally and emotionally demanding and my triathlon hobby pushes my physical limits so I decided to see if I could improve both by focusing on sleep. My bedtimes are irregular depending on what I have going on at night, and I don’t have any insight into the quality of sleep I do get. I am definitely not one of those 4-hours-a-night entrepreneurs since I’m an emotional wreck when forced to do that for more than a few days.

Sleep affects concentration, focus, emotional stability, memory, metabolism, food cravings, and most importantly, our immune system. I’m becoming convinced the most important thing we can do to improve our health in addition to diet and exercise is getting enough sleep.

So the first step was to start tracking my sleep. After doing some research on fitness trackers, I chose the Jawbone UP24 for a variety of reasons – the battery lasts a week, it was rated the most comfortable to wear (which is important if you are going to wear it to bed), it integrates with the most fitness apps, and it provided the most sleep details. It costs about $139 depending on the size you get. (Note: this is not a sponsored post, just a genuine part of my sleep project).

I’ve been monitoring my sleep now for about two weeks. While I tried not to alter my sleep habits at all so I could get baseline data for where I’m starting, I did find myself trying to hit the sack by 10pm each night because UP nags you if you don’t get to bed on time.

What I’m finding so far is that my sleep patterns are very irregular and don’t necessarily depend on the amount of sleep I get. Below is a variety of sleep profiles from four different nights:

Sleepgraphs2

You can see from the graphs that some days I stay in steady states of deep and light sleep and other times I am go in and out between the two as much as 20 times! The other thing I thought was interesting was that, except for that day I got 9.5 hours of sleep (a glorious weekend that was), I seemed to spend about 3.5 hours in deep sleep no matter how long I spent in bed.

Soooooo, what does it all mean, Basil?  I’m not sure yet. The next thing to experiment is what I actually do during the day on the nights I get good/bad sleep. All sorts of things can affect sleep like sugar, caffeine, alcohol, exercise, stress, and even the weather. While UP can track exercise and lets you enter the food you eat, it doesn’t appear to let you export that data and correlate them to each other to see trends. So I’ll have to do that manually. Stay tuned and here’s to a good night’s sleep!

 

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Don’t Fool Yourself: There is No Work/Life Balance

The idea of achieving work/life balance is a modern-day knockoff of the American Dream, rooted in the minds of ambitious yet overworked professionals who want to “have it all” — work and play, career and family.

I don’t believe there is such a thing as “work/life balance.” You don’t hear people talking about finding a “family/life balance” or an “eating/life balance.” It’s all life.

Work usually takes priority over the rest, however, because work is what we spend the majority of our day doing, it financially supports our dreams, and it’s a core part of our identities (the first “small talk” question people usually ask is what you do for a living). Add technology to our career-driven lives, and work-related priorities now have the potential to take over our personal lives. When this happens, professionals are putting their relationships, mental and physical health, and overall happiness at risk.

Technology Skews Our Priorities

The reason work seems to be encroaching more and more on our personal time is that every day, we unknowingly hand over precious power to alerts and notifications — distractions ironically set up to ensure we don’t miss a thing.

My notifications come from Google News, business blogs, LinkedIn, Twitter, productivity apps, airfare alerts, my investment firm, and (what should be at the top of my list) my son’s school. When we’re constantly bombarded with these bits of information, priorities and distractions start to run together, and we have a hard time knowing what to focus on.

It’s Not All Technology’s Fault

How do you know when your priorities have truly gone awry? I believe it’s when you’ve reached a point where your urgency to react to something is disproportionate to its relevance (or your priorities). Although technology enables every notification or alert to seem urgent, technology itself isn’t the true culprit. Rather, it’s our relationship with technology that throws us off-balance.

Do you delay a scheduled workout because you feel compelled to reply to an email first? Do your kids ask you to step away from Facebook? Do unread emails cause you stress even after a 12-hour workday? Do you check your phone at dinner? These are all signs that you have an imbalanced relationship with technology.

4 Easy Ways to Balance Your Life

Below are ways to begin building a more balanced life — one where you have room for hobbies, health, relationships, and personal priorities.

1. Take 30 minutes each morning before checking your email or phone.

I used to wake up every morning and immediately look at my phone to see if there was anything urgent in my inbox or something interesting on Facebook. It always started with me telling myself, “I’m just going to check,” but that quick check turned into 30 minutes of working, mentally prioritizing my to-do list, and looking for a problem to react to.

The most defining moment of your day is when you first wake up. You have a choice about the first information you expose to your brain. By meditating, exercising, journaling, or doing something reflective for those first 30 minutes instead of opening the digital floodgates, you allow yourself to start your day recharged and aware of your priorities. Learning to control which information we pay attention to — and when — is crucial to achieving balance.

2. Identify your “critical path” priorities.

Every year, my company holds a meeting for our executive team to discuss our “critical path” for the coming year. What are our most important priorities? Our departments then align their goals along that path. Professionals can benefit from going through this same process with their personal lives.

Can you identify your five most important personal goals and values? Is it better to be connected to your kids, be physically fit, or be on the road to a funded retirement? These priorities are part of your personal “critical path”; if you don’t define them now and give them the necessary attention, something less important is bound to take their place.

3. Find a non-work-related passion.

Without any interests or hobbies outside work, you run the risk of becoming resentful and isolated. While it sounds dedicated and noble to focus on work 24/7, most realize this isn’t a realistic or sustainable lifestyle. Many companies show outward signs of rewarding this behavior, but most people secretly have little respect for individuals with no boundaries.

Learn a language, join a gym, or volunteer at your child’s school. Most importantly, do something that makes you step away from your computer and smartphone. Non-work-related, tech-free passions expand your universe and make you a more interesting person.

4. Build a community of support.

Finding a non-work-related passion also involves building supportive, nurturing relationships outside of work. Money and jobs will come and go, but trusted friends who have your personal interests at heart can help you handle difficult professional decisions with less stress and more confidence.

When we take a look at why it’s so hard to achieve balance between work and our personal lives, technology lies very close to the root of the problem. However, the root itself has to do with our tendency to let our notifications drive our priorities.

Being dedicated and ambitious is admirable, but allowing work to define your self-worth and identity is dangerous. Don’t let yourself wake up one day and realize your kids are out of the house, you never went on that cruise, or you never ran a marathon.

By reevaluating priorities and taking the necessary steps to unplug from work and technology, you can achieve real balance — improving your health, happiness, and life as a whole.

(This post originally appeared in Fast Company in March 2014)

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Fifty Opportunities to Die

Entrepreneurship is notorious for it ups and downs. Barely making payroll sucks but getting mentioned in Forbes doesn’t suck nearly as much. Ironically, they can sometimes happen in the same week. This week I’m happy to report it’s a time for celebration. I often tell people that in the 4+ years since we launched TapInfluence, there have been fifty opportunities for us to die as a company. Fifty opportunities for the product to not work, for customers to not buy, for the right person to not get hired, for us to raise too much/little money, or to take a decision too lightly/seriously. Thankfully, we seem to be making the right choices and I’m grateful the startup gods (and venture capitalists) continue to smile on us.

Thanks to the hard work of many talented people, we announced two pieces of big news this week. First, we are thrilled to release the next version of our influencer-marketing platform that now includes the industry’s first Influencer Marketplace, a feature enabling brands and influencers to collaborate with one another inside a software platform to generate authentic content. For the first time, brands now have access to audience demographics and the ability to track the actual dollar value of each piece of distributed content.

Its no secret that one of the business areas most impacted by the digital age is Marketing. For every plugged-in marketer excited that part of their role now includes posting on Facebook and reading blogs, there are two others struggling to get their heads around the pace and volume of digital information, both how to consume and create it. Influencers represent an army of content creators and distributors and TapInfluence has just made partnering with them a whole lot easier.

The second announcement is that we are honored to have raised a $5.0 million Series B round of venture capital from existing investor Grotech Ventures and new investor Access Venture Partners. This latest round of funding will be used to expand the company’s engineering, marketing and customer success teams in Boulder and throughout the United States.

Many thanks to our team, investors, customers and our families for giving us the opportunity to live another day getting to do what we love the most. You can read more about our Influencer Marketplace launch and our Funding News on the Tapinfluence website.

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Are you faster than a South American Tiger Beetle?

One of the fascinating things about being a human being on this planet is getting a sneak peek at what goes on in other people’s brains. My friend Paul is an aerospace engineer who builds satellites, makes fractal pancakes, and has a beachfront condo in his brain where all the cool numbers hang out when on vacation from calculating how to diverting some meteor on collision course with Coney Island.

I wrote a post last year about my first half ironman and included some stats about my times for each segment. I thought it would be interesting to share his analysis of exactly how fast (or in this case, slow) I really am:

Your swim was 1.2 miles and you did that in 42 minutes or 0.7 hours; therefore you swam at 1.7 mph.

  • Penguins swim at about 15 mph, so he would have done this distance in about 5 minutes
  • A dolphin would have really kicked your ass, swimming at 25 mph, finishing in 00:02:52
  • A balisk lizard in danger will run on two legs on top of the water, which sounds fast but is actually only 3.36 mph.  He would have finished in 21 minutes, 25 seconds.
  • You would have totally beat Besa (our friend’s golden retriever), who swims at 0.8 mph. Besa’s time is 1:30:00

Your bike was 56 miles and you did that in “just under 4 hours”; therefore you biked at 14 mph

  • Secretariat won the Kentucky Derby running at 37.5 mph, so she would have done this in 1:34:08
  • If this was the Kentucky Derby (1.25 miles) you would have finished in 5 minutes, 21 seconds as compared to Secretariat who finished in 1 minute 59 seconds
  • If you were biking next to a falcon (flies at 75 mph), he would have beat you by about 3 hours and 15 minutes (falcon’s time: 00:44:49)
  • If you were racing a swimming sea turtle, you would have beat him. His time is 4:40:01, swimming at 12 mph

Your run was 13.1 miles and you did that in 3 hours, 50 minutes or 3.83 hours, which is 3.42 mph

  • You would have tied with a South American Tiger Beetle, who also runs at 3.4 mph
  • A mouse would have beat you both, running at 7.5 mph. His time is 1:44:48
  • A scared kitty cat would have beat all of you (31 mph) if you kept her scared for 00:25:12
  • If you were racing against a hippo on land you’d lose (25 mph), but in the water he would only walk along the bottom at 2.5 mph, so you’d beat him by an hour and a half-ish . His time is 5:14:24

Other facts:

  • You covered a distance of 70.3 miles in 8:32:53, at an average speed of 8.24 mph
  • The Space Shuttle Atlantis would have covered this distance in about 14 seconds (17,580 mph)
  • The earth rotated by 127.9 degrees in this time
  • 4,045 babies were born in the US while you raced ;)

Apparently, the South American Tiger Beetle and I would have become good friends and the only competitor I can mock with confidence is the swimming sea turtle.

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Why bloggers should be paid for sponsored content

The discussion about whether or not to pay influencers and bloggers who create sponsored content has been going on for years.  Some marketers believe that, like journalists, bloggers should not be paid for covering product news and its simply part of what they do to bring valuable content to their readers. I never quite understood this approach.  If a blogger has a meaningful, loyal following of readers who represent a valuable target audience for a brand, that brand should pay for access to that audience. It would be like T-Mobile or Chipotle (both Tour De France team sponsors) asking racers to wear their shirts for free.  Bloggers and those with influencial followings on their blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or any other social network should be compensated for their ability to create valuable, relevant content.

This post is part of a test of our new TapInfluence influencer marketing platform.  Thrilled to be seeing the company’s vision come to life!

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of TapInfluence.  The opinions and text are all mine.


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BlogFrog is now TapInfluence

When my son was little, my life was so consumed with the basics – carrying him, teaching him, feeding him, and just making sure he made it around sharp corners and ledges without killing himself.  It was hard to imagine him grown up.  But now he’s a teenager, with a driver’s license and a job, and I wonder where all the years went.  I cherish every single moment of his childhood, even the hard ones, and am so proud of the young man he has become.

I have a very similar feeling about my company, TapInfluence, a cloud-based software platform that automates influencer marketing. My business partner, Rustin, and I started the company four years ago as BlogFrog and recently changed the name to TapInfluence to better reflect the idea that influencers aren’t just bloggers anymore. They include people with key audiences on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube and other social networks.

When we both quit our jobs to start the company in 2009, we didn’t have an office, investors or customers – just a great idea and a passion for growing it into something big.  I look back on the last four years and can’t believe how much things have changed.  The company has grown to 40 employees, we have over 75 enterprise brand clients, and we’ve paid out over $1 million to bloggers and influencers who create awesome content online. Here’s a nostalgic walk thru the past four years. I’m so proud of our team!

 

TapInfluence Launch Video from TapInfluence on Vimeo.

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13 Ways Running A Start-up is Like Having a Baby

I have given birth to one child and helped launch at least 5 start-ups. I might have a few illegitimate start-ups out there that I don’t know about but we’ll save that for another post. I had a blinding moment of delusion recently with my current start-up where I experienced the exact same feeling I did as the mother of a toddler. It was a day where one microscopic sign of progress overshadowed months of endless challenge, preparation, and self-sacrifice. How can that be?! How can the joy of one tiny hint of improvement elicit a feeling so out of proportion to the work that led up to it?

Then it hit me. The absurd number of ways that running a start-up is like having a baby. Here are my top thirteen:

  1. The idea to have a baby, or quit your job to run a start-up during a recession, usually has something to do with tequila.
  2. Nausea is the first sign that you are pregnant or have agreed to join a start-up.
  3. The vomiting eventually stops in the 2nd trimester, or when you release your beta version, whichever comes first.
  4. You are for sure pregnant (or are a shareholder in a start-up) when your partner now owns half of everything that gets produced.
  5. You will be sleep-deprived until the baby is sleeping thru the night or you’ve hired someone to handle customer support, whichever comes first.
  6. The average birth costs about $50,000 depending on your health insurance policy and PR agency fees.
  7. You’ll resist the urge to rip a total stranger’s kidney out thru their left nostril when they tell you your baby is ugly or that your interface doesn’t conform to the latest UX standards. Even if they’re right.
  8. It is inevitable that your baby will make a mistake that lands you on the front page of the local paper and gets virally propagated across every social network. You will be subject to much public humiliation and embarrassment until another start-up makes a bigger blunder.
  9. Plan to fork over an allowance and expect nothing in return. Somewhere between $10 to $25,000 per week, depending on the economy and the cost of a movie-sized box of Milk Duds.
  10. Expect to be infinitely patient as your baby (and start-up) experiments with its identity and then eventually grows up to be something far removed from what you originally planned.
  11. You will spend the next 18 years teaching your baby, and your start-up, how to earn money on its own.
  12. You will instantly forget how much pain you went thru the moment your baby is acquired by a search engine giant for $230 million dollars.
  13. Despite being broke, exhausted, aged, and divorced, you will decide to do it all over again.
Posted in Entrepreneurship, Leadership, Start-ups, Work-Life Balance | 7 Comments

A Lesson In Gratefulness From Those With Less

I distinctly remember the day my son came home from elementary school one afternoon talking about how several of the kids in his class had iPhones. I was stunned. What does an elementary school kid need with an iPhone? He was jealous and bummed because he wanted one, too. It got me thinking about where we lived and how little diversity there was. Boulder is a beautiful, health-minded, pet-loving, educated and conscious city but it’s not necessarily a melting pot of diversity when it comes to ethnicity or income level.

I started to worry that he might take for granted all the things that were basics to us (like his Gameboy, three meals a day, electricity, a car to get him places) but might be luxury for someone who had much less.  I wanted him to be grateful for the things he had and have compassion and generosity for those with less. So instead of lecturing him, I decided to show him firsthand that there were kids in the world who were happy and joyful with far less.

Around that time, I had the opportunity to join a service tour with a Burmese monk (long story) to visit Myanmar and support orphanage efforts there. I took Noah with me so he could see for himself that many children live very different lives.

The trip was 12 days and we spent time in Tokyo, Bangkok, Rangoon, and rode for hours on a bus down dirt roads to remote villages in Myanmar. We were invited into homes where the average pay was $9/month and mostly went for rice.  Many children didn’t attend school because they had to work in the rice fields.

We visited orphanages where abandoned children were taken in by Catholic nuns (infant girls, the elderly, and those with physical or mental disabilities are sometimes abandoned by their families).  Many of the children had never seen a boy with bond hair and they wanted to touch him or have their pictures taken with him. He got to see how they still lived with joy and wonder, even though they had no material belongings or much of a future.

By the end of the trip, Noah had put aside his Gameboy and learned origami from the Japanese women on the bus who knew no English and gave him back rubs. He eventually stopped poking me and learned to enjoy simply looking out the window of the bus and taking it all in. He still remembers the orphans he met and how, even with so little, they still wanted to give to others.

To this day, he says its the best trip he’s ever had and wants to go back.  I know for sure those kids touched his heart and he taught him things about compassion, gratefulness and generosity in ways I never could.

This holiday season build a box with your family to teach kindness, compassion, and generosity.

Operation Christmas Child and influencer marketing platform BlogFrog have teamed up with 200 bloggers like me to spread the word about this great cause.

BlogFrog will match the first 200 boxes that are built.  Pledge your commitment below to build a box today on Facebook or Twitter!

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Operation Christmas Child. The opinions and text are all mine.

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